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Daniel I Russell - Writer of Horror Fiction


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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The greatest Xbox 360 games/franchises ever...by me

In my ecology class in uni back in 2001, we had to create a plant key for identification purposes. We went out, did the work and wrote up our projects. Most of us lost marks with the title. See, we called it PLANT KEY, not PLANT KEY ON PLANTS AROUND EDGE HILL, which was the university. Had to be specific.

But I learned things at uni, including the accuracy of a title. See, these are the greatest Xbox 360 games/franchises ever...by me. So it can't be wrong.

Snooch.

13 games that sucked away my time and took away my attention from my job, my writing and my family. Great games! In no particular order...

Red Dead Redemption

Beautiful vistas...and shooting people in the face.
My favourite game of all time and the reason I own a farm. I say farm, I mean five chickens! Great story, mechanics and so so good!

Dark Souls

"You're not very good at this game are you?" my mum. Seriously.

And she was stood in the way of the TV. Anyway, Dark Souls 1 and 2. I don't care what your FIFA ranking is. Show me the DS double, pussy.
 
 
 
Mass Effect
 
 
Epic. Even the ultra soft core sci fi sex.
 

Yes there was the ending, but you can't judge 24+ hours of intense play and many climaxes by the last few seconds. Just ask any lady I've made love to.
 

Bioshock
 
I'm sorry. My eyes just came on your shoes.
Bioshock is wet and dark and grim and awesome. Bioshock 2 is...alright. Bioshock Infinite is generation defining. When the 360 appeared ready for the trade in, in blasted Infinite. Didn't like the story? Then get back to the in-depth character development of COD: BO. These guys should be applauded for what they tried to do. Buy this game.
 
Forza Horizon
 
I have  sweet ride. The car's not bad either.
I'm not one for driving games since the original Mario Kart on the SNES, but FH brought the rock steady driving mechanics of the franchise with pumping music, an open world and sexy cars. I love this game.
 
Condemned
 
What was that? What the fuck was that? (You'll say)
Early game for the 360, but by far the creepiest I've played on the console. The ONLY game that made me react like those youtube clips of people in the dark losing their shit. Buy decent gaming headphones too.
 
So you can hear the whispers..
 
Assassin's Creed
 
The original hoodies.
Fraught with bad story, unfair missions (why every fucker gets in my way when I'm trying to chase someone...and run! No don't run up the wall and fall down...no don't run up the wall and fall down...oh for fuck's-) and an almost greedy (did I say that?) attitude to the franchise...I still love this series. Even 3. Not so much Black Flag, although it was very pretty on the One. Assassin's Creed 2 though. Now that's a great game.
 
Borderlands
 
You're about to become his new meat bicycle.
My partner and I played this game TO DEATH. I 100%'ed the first one, even the collecting missions from the final DLC. Just...just go and play it. Having the best intro music in the gaming world justifies the crazy low prices you pay now for the entire GOTY edition. I hope you like guns.
 
Dead Space
 
Fight vaginas in a giant vagina with Aunt Irma.
 
In this day and age, I find it hard to have time to replay a game. I played the original bad boy through three times. As a horror novelist, I of course want gripping, atmospheric, limb-separating sci fi horror in my console. Those bastards bursting out of the snow in 3? Exploding babies in 2? Sold yet?
 
Fable 2
 
And they aren't.
 
 
 
 
What games should I have left off? What games should I have included? Do you want a dick length comparison with our Gamerscores? Leave a comment, gamers!
 



Posted by Daniel I. Russell :: 8:45 pm :: 0 comments

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