Daniel I. Russell is the author of Entertaining Demons, Samhane, Retard, Come Into Darkness, Critique, The Collector Book 1: Mana Leak, Mother's Boys and the huge collection Tricks, Mischief and Mayhem. Daniel is a HWA active member and represented by the Tobias Literary Agency, NYC. Daniel has also been the vice-president of the Australian Horror Writers' Association, special guest editor of Midnight Echo, associate and technical editor for Necrotic Tissue, and Shadow Awards judge.
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Sunday, November 29, 2009Sexy guitars, albino lesbians and threatening elephants...it's a shit business.
Has my absence from the internet been noticed of late? Us writers tend to be a reclusive sort (unless we're trying desperately to pimp our books), but I try to be readily available. There's been a few things happening here at Manji Towers that have kept me away from my corner of clowns (not you, my decor). Here's a brief rundown:
YOUR PARENTS ARE HERE. LOOK BUSY.
My parents arrived here from England a week ago and they've been living with us, seeing the sights and doing the Aussie thing. I think they're quite enjoying it. Hell, we've all enjoyed it, except that this weekend, my father and I caught...something. We have no idea what it was or where it came from, but we got it BAD. Perhaps it was food poisoning (despite not being able to work out what we both ate exclusively - unless there was an incubation period). It preceded one of the most agonising nights of my life, and wanting to simply to be shot in the head to escape the constant vomiting, stomach cramps and hallucinations! And to make matters worse, the next day we were booked to stay in a flash hotel in Como, Perth. That would require a 3 1/2 drive in the hot sun! Wasn't fun, but thankfully, Sherie did ALL the driving, the little star. Luckily, we felt better the next day and had another fun-filled day at the zoo. Which brings me to the elephant...
DUMBO? DON'T LET HIM HEAR YOU SAY THAT...
I'm sure that if I asked what the scariest animal at the zoo was, you'd perhaps say lions (no...sleeping), snakes (no...sleeping) or koalas (no...sleeping...but the stink was pretty scary). Elephants? No. Elephants are quite friendly and cute and have curly trunks and big floppy ears. The elephant we watched feed was all these things, but still...
As it was so hot, the keepers had encased the elephant's food in a block of solid ice. Was about the size of a big cardboard box. This elephant strolled out, had a butchers and delicately laid his foot (and it was a he...it had 5 legs. Reminded me a little of myself...what with the big nose) on the block. And this was the scary part. Quite nonchalantly, and with what appeared no effort, the elephant OBLITERATED the block. It just exploded. My dad shouted "Imagine that was your head!" Yes, the elephant has a new found respect with this writer now. I was going to write an Australian nature runs amok novella called ROO! or maybe Stink of the Koala...but maybe I'll set it in Africa and call it Half Ton Head Stompers. Wait, that was the biography of the WWF tag team The Natural Disasters, wasn't it?
So the zoo was good, and then we went swimming in the hotel pool afterwards. I've rediscovered the joys of swimming, and hope to again this week here in Manji. One thing though, Spas are dangerous, the hotter the more dangerous...erm...er.
MMMMMMMMM...LICK MY HUMBUCKERS!
Wondering why the sexy guitar is the headline pic this week? That's because my parents also arrived with some special cash that was to be passed on to me. Rather than pay the bills or rent or buy the groceries, this money was to be spent on something more concrete. Since the concrete shop was closed, I opted for a fancy new guitar and amp set up. For those of you that knew me about a year ago, you'll remember that I had to sell all my music equipment to fund my move to Australia. I'm starting from scratch. But this investment allowed me something I've never had before: choice. I could basically afford any guitar in the shop. I opted for the sleek and sexy Gibson SG in black. Not only will I get much enjoyment from playing, but I see this as an investment if things get desperate. Having an 'Angus' (AC/DC) guitar as the man in the shop called it in Western Australia isn't a bad choice, and I've already been cranking out Back in Black on it. The amp I got is a beaut too (fuck, that sounded Australian). A Peavy with more settings then the Hubble Telescope. The distortion is mental, and I have flange and reverb and more...everything I want. I love it and want to marry it. Between Sherie and the new SG, there's competition for the sexiest thing in the house. (I'm sorry, hunny, my six-stringed siren!)
ALBINO SPACE LESBIANS ABOUT TO LAND IN YOUR TERRITORY
The boys over at Skull Vines Press (www.skullvines.com) have been working their asses off of late. Besides cranking out the top quality fiction, including Black Jack Derringer by Karen Koehler and the newly acquired Abyss Walker series by Shane Moore (wow! And did you know there is an Abyss Walker inspired antho currently seeking admissions through our very own Stygian Publications? www.stygianpublications.blogspot.com) work is also continuing on the acclaimed series Tabloid Terrors, with the third installment out very soon.
Followers will know of my albino space lesbian story, the artwork of which was hot off the pencil of series co creator Jerrod Balzer (don't sniff the end of it) this week. This picture is the most I can reveal without being heavily censored. You guys have got to pick this up. The other...ahem...artwork made me cry out in surprise at half six in the morning. I can't wait to see what else is in this book! More details to follow.
In other writing news, due to the lack of time, the current novel still lies untouched, but a new short story has been started and I sold another pro poem, this time to the collection, These Apparitions: Haunted Reflections of Ezra Pound by Bandersnatch. Again, more news to follow. I enjoyed this immensely. One of my more literary pieces. On the flipside, Big Ole Face Full of Monster has died, which is a shame. They had my horror/humour story which now needs a home. If you like a general splashing of man fat with your horror and fancy buying this one, drop me a line.
That's enough rambling today. Time for some reading and then an early night. To Bedfordshire!